Bitchin' Camaro Available on: Big Lizard In My Backyard (Restless, 1985)                   Now We Are Ten (Self-Released, 1993)                   Death Rides a Pale Cow - The Ultimate Collection (Restless, 1997)                   Cream Of The Crop - The Best Of The Dead Milkmen (BMG, 1998) Alternate Versions: Chaos Rules - Live At The Trocadero (Restless, 1994) Sung by: Rodney Anonymous (vocals, spoken) & Joe Jack Talcum (spoken) Length: 2:58

Lyrics: - Hey Jack, what's happenin'? - I don't know. - Well uh, rumour around town says you might be thinkin' 'bout goin' down to the shore. - Uh, yeah, I think I'm gonna go down to the shore. - Whadda ya gonna do down there? - Uh, I don't know, p-play some video games, buy some Def Leppard t-shirts. - Don't forget your Motley Crue t-shirt; y'know all proceeds go to get their lead singer out a' jail. - Uh huh. - Can't wait to go down. Hey uh, were ya gonna check out the sand bar while you're down there? - Uh, what's the Sand Bar? - Ah, it's a place that lets sixteen year-old kids drink. - Ah, cool. - Ya hey, guess who's gonna be there? - Uh, who? - My favourite cover band, Crystal Ship. - Wow. - Yeah, they do a Doors show, you'd be really impressed, in fact, it goes a little like this: Love me two times baby Love me twice today Love me two times girl Cause I got AIDS Love me two times baby, once for tomorrow, once cause I got AIDS - Uh... - Pretty good Jim Morrison impersonation there. I hope those guys have a good sense a' humour and don't take us into court. - Uh, what's the court? - Never mind that, the important thing here... - You mean the People's Court. - The... Now, that's another story. The important thing here is that we get to the part where you ask me how I'm gonna get down to the shore. - Oh, how you gettin' down to the shore? - Funny you should ask, I've got a car now. - Ah wow, how'd ya get a car? - Oh, my folks drove it up here from the Bahamas. - You're kidding! - I must be, the Bahamas are islands. Okay, the important thing here is that, uh, you ask me what kinda car it is. - Uh uh, what kinda car do ya' got? - I've got a bitchin' Camaro... (1.2.3.4) Bitchin' Camaro, Bitchin' Camaro! I ran over my neighbors Bitchin' Camaro, Bitchin' Camaro! Now I'm in all the papers My folks bought me a bitchin' Camaro With no insurance to match So if I happen to run you down Please don't leave a scratch I ran over some old lady One night at the county fair And I didn't get arrested Because my dad's the mayor Bitchin' Camaro, Bitchin' Camaro! Donuts on your lawn Bitchin' Camaro, Bitchin' Camaro! Tony Orlando and Dawn When I drive past the kids They all spit and cuss Cause I've got a bitchin' Camaro And they have to ride the bus So you'd better get out of my way When I come through your yard Cause I've got a bitchin' Camaro And an Exxon credit card Bitchin' Camaro, Bitchin' Camaro! Hey man where ya headed? Bitchin' Camaro, Bitchin' Camaro! I'm drunk on unleaded!

Tablature: Notes: Crystal Ship - A Doors cover band that played the New Jersey Shore/East Coast club scene in the late 70's and early 80's. Crystal Ship is (not surprisingly) the name of a Doors song, from the self-titled album. Love Me Two Times - Another Doors song, paraphrased here by Rodney. The real lyrics are:    Love me two times, baby    Love me twice today    Love me two times, baby    I'm goin' away    Love me two times, baby    One for tomorrow    One just for today Def Leppard, Motley Crue - Heavy metal, big hair, tight pants bands from the '80s. The lead singer of Motley Crue referred to being in jail is Tommy Lee, who is now known for, erm, other things. They're both awful, awful bands. In my opinion anyway. Camaro - Go to www.chevrolet.com to pick out which bitchin' camaro you're gonna buy. I'm not sure, but I want mine in Light Pewter Metallic. Apparently, it is now the end of an era, and Chevrolet will no longer make the Camaro. Tony Orland & Dawn - This threesome consisted of a one-time teen idol named Tony Orlando, put together with a pair of ex-Motown session singers, Telma Louise Hopkins and Joyce Vincent Wilson. The People's Court - A prototype for current shows like "Judge Judy". Bitchin' Camaro (The Best Thanksgiving Ever) & the Chaos Rules version - A different version of the intro (a story about Thanksgiving, surprisingly) is included on the If I Had A Gun EP. It's very, very funny. Also, the version on "Chaos Rules - Live At The Trocadero" also has a different intro (Stephen Freind bashing), which isn't surprising as Rodney improvised a lot with it. You can also see the file for the Chaos Rules version, and the one for The Best Thanksgiving Ever version. Comments: A very early Milkmen song, and one of the most famous. Notice that Joe is referred to using the name Jack, obviously written before he added his real first name to the beginning of the fictional Jack Talcum. As for the actual song, the bit about the kids riding the bus is my favourite. If I had a bitchin' Camaro, I'd stop riding the bus and get my damn driver's license. Also, I'm still not sure whether it says Crystal Shit or Ship. It sounds like Shit, but Ship is the real Doors tribute band. Of course, it could just be a take-off of that, but it's just a little hard to hear. Mike Brennan: The beginning can get long, but you just can't beat a fast ending. Especially one about running over people! >=)